nicknames

the good lady wife has a habit of giving nicknames to everything; the cat (bean), the husband (turnip, stink etc) and of course the baby.

during the pregnancy he was variously ‘the grub‘, ‘his royal highness pointy-arse‘ and a range of other things along the way.

and now he is out nothing has changed; ‘turnip jr‘ gets regular usage but my personal favourite is when trying to feed and he is distracted or just won’t latch on properly for some reason and she trots out… ‘ferret lips‘ – all in good fun of course.

quote unquote

“oh my god, that’s like an orgasm for the tongue!”

- J on tasting an authentic Belgian waffle in Brussels. Similar sentiments later expressed in relation to some incredible chocolate later the same day.

Don’t get too worried about it

I have had a bit of friendly concern from people who read my blog entry regarding depression and my return to sensibility.

I just want people to know that this is not something that you need to worry about. I have had this chronic illness for better part of a decade – before I met Michael, got married, started or completed my law degree, travelled overseas 2 times, got my first professional job, got promoted, went and worked on a mine site, started a Masters degree etc etc. I have had 3 periods of extended depression in my life that have required medication. I have been taking medicine for this particular episode since January -  6 months. So its not something that I am unfamiliar with, frightened of or use to define myself, anymore than diabetics do. At some point in the future Michael,my doctor and I will decide whether I will stay on the medication or try for a fourth time without it.

If there is anything that I want people to realise is that 3 weeks ago i was still me, and in 3 weeks time I am still me – I am fine. I kept going to work, traveliing, planning, laughing and living. No throwing in the towel or getting into bed for 3 weeks and not getting out. it is no crisis - it is my life. Thanks for your concern but don’t get too worried about it!

JD

Having a look at what I have missed

I have been afflicted with an attack of late nite insomnia and so i have been reading the blog. and i feel so sad at what I haven’t been reading or paying attention to over the last few months. i never really appreciated properly the impact of my wierd working arrnagements (ie the time at Olympic Dam) on M. it must have been a horrible and lonely time. I am sorry.

 J

Back to the land of the living

Hello everyone,

I am back from the abyss. Some drugs, a return to home, a big sleep and a series of arguments with my boss has put me back into the zone of living life and not wading in knee high water. What excitement has happened. After I got over the guilt of having a relapse having not had one for years, and not in the time that I have been with Michael, and then plunging over the edge completely, well I felt a lot better. I felt as though I had duped Michael and I didn’t know how he would respond to a properly depressed person. So yes the time is ripe to admit to those friends who read this blog that J has had for a number of years a proper full depressive problem. I have now had 3 major ‘episodes’ in 8 years. this is pointing pretty much to the fact that I cannot live a life drug free at all times. Admittedly I was doing well, but a boss that bullied and abused me, a miscarriage, a wedding (great but stressful) and then 4 months by myself in the desert (all in a 12 month period) brought it on good and proper. Now that i am 6 months into the medicine, life is getting back onto an even keel. And M – i love you – you have been great. It’s time for me now not to be embarrassed but to be getting on with it. This is going to be here for most of my life i anticipate and i know now without a doubt that you can handle me. It was the final frontier in our relationship and we are riding happily off into the sunset.

 Plans for germany are progressing well. We will be on a plane in 6 weeks. Hopefully some friends will visit, but if they don’t M and I will have the fabulous time that we have been dreaming of over the last 2 years. all the ‘no money this week’ blues will be worth it.

 No more bullshit – lets live life.

J